How To Help Someone In Danger?

• Initiate a conversation in private and when you have enough time to talk at length, but only if they want to.
• Let go of your expectations that there is a quick fix and don’t immediately try to offer suggestions. Not doing anything now may very well be the safest thing.
• Challenge false attitudes and beliefs that you have about domestic or sexual abuse.
• Believe victims and let them know that you do. If you know the abuser, it may be hard to believe that they are capable of abuse, but remember that abusers typically act differently in public than they do in private.
• Listen to what they tell you. Avoid making judgments and giving advice. They will let you know what they need.
• Refer them to a service provider who can provide necessary medical attention, counseling or emotional support, safety planning, housing and discuss their options. Find the family abuse service provider closest to you.
• Build on their strengths. Point out the ways in which they have developed ways to cope, solved problems, and showed courage and determination.
• Validate their feelings. It is common for victims to have conflicting feelings–love and fear, guilt and anger, hope and sadness. Let them know these feelings are normal.
• Avoid victim-blaming. Tell the victim it is not their fault. Don’t give advice on what THEY could do to make things better.
• Take it seriously. If you are concerned about their safety, tell them you are concerned without judgment by simply saying, “Your situation sounds dangerous and I’m concerned about your safety”.
• Give them control. Abuse and assault take control away from the victims.  Support their decisions about who to tell, what steps to take, and what types of support they need. Additionally, ask before offering any physical support such as hugs amd being up front about what support you can and cannot provide. This allows them to take control of their safety and the next steps.
• Support and respect their decisions.  Remember there are risks with every decision a victim makes and there is no one way an individual must react to abuse or assault. If you really want to be helpful, be patient and respect their choices, even it isn’t what you would have chosen for them.