Can a Christian Remarry After a Divorce?

The Bible presents two clear grounds for divorce: sexual immorality by a believer or an unbeliever, and abandonment by an unbelieving spouse. Sexual immorality encompasses a broad range of inappropriate sexual behaviors, and Jesus’ exception clause permits divorce under these conditions.

“But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery”  (Matthew 5:32)

In the New King James Version (NKJV) of the Bible, Matthew 19:9 states, (Jesus is speaking) “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery”.

This means that the person can get a divorce, if it is due to sexual immorality, then that person will not be committing adultery if they remarry.  The one that has committed sexual immorality is in adultery already.

Paul addresses abandonment by an unbelieving spouse and is the other scriptural reason divorce is permitted, and allows the believing partner to accept the separation and move forward (1 Corinthians 7:15).

“But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.”
(1 Corinthians 7:15)

Jesus states that divorcing a mate on the grounds of immorality frees the offended mate to remarry without committing adultery. Paul upholds the idea of permanency in marriage, whether it be to a believer or unbeliever, yet gives permission for a believing mate to separate if deserted by an unbeliever.

What does God say about leaving an abusive marriage?

If a victim can avoid suffering by leaving a dangerous relationship, they should, and their church should support them to do so. There is nothing in the Bible to support the view that it is God’s will for people to endure relationship abuse.

There are no verses about “abuse” or “oppression” (same thing), being a reason to get a divorce.  However, in these cases, leaving a dangerous situation for safety from any kind of abuse, (many scriptures address God’s feelings for abuse) does not necessarily mean you are getting a divorce.  The victim may separate themselves and their children from an abusive spouse, without the motive being that of divorce, but seeking safety.  The abuser will never change as long as he/she is allowed to abuse to maintain power and control.  The victim is enabling the abuser to do these things by staying there and allowing it to go on. When the victim takes themselves out of the equation and the abuser is left alone, the goal is to allow time for God to deal with the abuser without interruption and, hopefully, bring about salvation. The victim can never cause or make the abuser change. 

The objective in these cases where the victim has left is to pray for the abuser and wait upon the Lord to do His work. It can take a long time, or the abuser may never change. At any rate, the offended party should not be seeking to get a divorce or move on to another relationship but remain faithful to the marriage vows.

There are two possible results of taking this action:

1. The abuse is all about power and control. When the abuser loses his/her ability to maintain that power and control over the spouse due to separation, they will usually (in most cases) seek out another victim to replace the one that left. This is usually a quick process. If this happens, and the abuser is still married to the victim who left, he/she has committed adultery.  The spouse who left is no longer bound to this abuser and is free to get a divorce based on the scriptures stated above.

2. The preferred result of the abused spouse separating from the abuser is that he/she would respond to God and His prompting during the time they are separated and come to repentance because of prayer and correct response to God. Then he/she should be willing to do whatever is necessary to reconcile the relationship and restore the marriage and home.  If there is true repentance, even salvation, the abused spouse could then seek God for His wisdom in how and when to return to the home. Of course, there would be a process of time that would prove the abuser’s sincerity, honesty and relationship with the Lord before going back into the home.  It could take a great deal of patience and time, but if, in the end, the marriage is restored and God is in the center, it will be worth it.

During both these scenarios, the responsibility of the victim while separated is to devote themselves to fervent prayer for the abuser and God’s will to be done.