Domestic Violence Against Men

Breaking the Stigma

Domestic violence is most often associated with women, but men also experience abuse in their relationships.  Unfortunately, due to societal stereotypes and misconceptions, male victims often suffer in silence, afraid to come forward.  It’s time to break down these barriers and shed light on the issue of family violence, no matter who the victim may be.

Seriousness

For male victims of female abusers in particular, female aggression is often judged less harshly. Men are seen as stronger than women in general, and so women are perceived as unable to cause the same level of physical harm as men, especially toward men. Because of this, physical abuse by females against male victims can be taken less seriously by law enforcement, legal professionals, support services, friends, family, and even victims themselves, who believe that the victim can “handle” it, that they have the ability to physically stop a female from harming them, or that female abusers can’t actually hurt male victims that much.

Understanding the signs:

Abuse against men can be similar to abuse against women and can take many forms, including, but not limited to:

• Physical abuse: kicking, biting or other forms of physical assault
• Emotional abuse: Name-calling, belittling, gaslighting, or threats
• Financial abuse: Controlling access to money,limiting employment opportunities, or preventing a partner from working
• Sexual abuse: Forcing unwanted sexual activity or controlling sexual activity

Why Men Don’t Speak Out?

There are several reasons why men hesitate to report family violence. Here are a few, there are many other factors involved:

• Fear of stigma: Many men worry about being seen as weak or emasculated if they admit to being abused.
• Shame: The feeling of shame can prevent men from seeking help or disclosing their experiences.
• Lack of awareness: Some men may not realize that their experience constitutes family violence.
• Fear of retaliation: Victims may fear for their safety or the safety of their loved ones if they report the abuse.

And, as with any victim or survivor, listening and believing without judgment is essential to change the culture of shame that keeps men silent about experiencing abuse.

If you or someone you know is experiencing family violence, it’s important to know that help is available. There are many resources designed to help male victims, including:

DomesticShelters.org:  search for shelters and domestic violence programs by zip code and then filter to find those who welcome and support male victims.

MenHealing.org: resources for male survivors of sexual abuse, their loved ones and allies

1 in 6: information and resources for men who have been sexually abused or assaulted

Love Is Respect: information and call/chat/text support geared toward teenagers and young adults, including male and male-identifying victims

National Domestic Violence Hotline:  any victim of domestic violence can speak to an advocate 24/7 by call, chat, or text

Men’s Group – an all-men online support platform and resource center